At Jamie's Prompting...

I read a thoughtful new post from my sweet Jamie this morning. Check it out here. In it, she prompts us bloggers to post our thoughts on disciplining ourselves. It could be about disciplining ourselves in general or how the spiritual disciplines play out in our lives. Tough, Miss Moore.
The truth is, I have an embarrassing lack of discipline in all areas of my life. I have fought and struggled with that my entire life. If I am completely honest, which I don't want to be, I would say the "discipline" I work hardest at is making sure that I appear disciplined. What do I mean by that? It means that, as a wife and a mother and a follower of Jesus Christ, I have expectations and ideas of what my daily life should look like. The truth is, it doesn't look like that most days. But when I see people or talk to people I (sinfully) try to come off as having it all together. That's the honest truth.
What do I strive for, though? As I daily fight my flesh and strive "never to give over or in the least slacken in my fight with corruption," as Spurgeon says, what do I fight to do? It's good for me to sit and reevaluate that on this quiet morning. My three main areas are my spiritual life, my life as a wife and my life as a mother. The tricky part is that they are all very intertwined. As I work on one area I am, in turn, working on the other two. It's actually pretty cool. As I spend time in the Word I am learning and growing into a better wife and mom. As I work at home with my children each day, teaching them and even just playing with them, I am fulfilling my role as a wife and being sanctified. As I serve Chad, I am teaching my children and honoring the Lord.
It's hard in this stage of life that I'm in not to feel like a complete failure in the area of spiritual discipline. I look back on times in my life that I was able to spend hours each day reading and journaling. The "glory days". Do you know what I'm talking about? The days that you can look back on (or maybe you live there...I don't) and you always had something to share about what you were learning and what the Lord was showing you. When someone asked what your Bible study was on that day, or what Scripture you were memorizing, or what book you were reading...no matter what, you always had an answer. It's hard, sitting where I sit right now, to look back on those days and compare them with the time I'm in now. And I shouldn't compare. But I do. I see those times...and then I look at what fills my days now. Sometimes I don't get anything more accomplished during the day than playing with Anna Kate, reading her and Max 50 books, watching them ride their bicycles outside, and making everyone another sandwich for supper. And it's hard not feel like a spiritual discipline "flunky". But what I do each day is pleasing to the Lord. Wait. I don't mean to say that everything I do each day is pleasing to the Lord. There is plenty of laziness, plenty of bad choices with my time. Plenty. I don't mean to excuse that. But as I go through my day as "Mommy" and "Erin Wife" I have to resist the temptation to feel like a failure at the "spiritual part" of my life...because these things are spiritual. I am grateful to be in a church where I am encouraged as a wife and a mom. They talk often of "the high calling of motherhood." The more I understand what a high calling it is, the more I feel intimidated/sobered by the task of being a mom and wife.
Wow. That was probably way more than what Jamie bargained for. I'm not sure I even answered the question. But those are my thoughts...and there is lots more to say. Your thoughts, please? I'd love to hear them.